Bismillah
A motivation shared form here.
It’s time to care less. Yep, that’s right. Sometimes we take the world
on our shoulders, and instead of making the world a better place, all we
end up doing is creating more stress for ourselves. Here are simple
tips to ease that heavy mental load and feel more carefree.
1. What others think
Dance to your own beat. Act dumb. Do whatever you have to but don’t take
on board what others think. It’s your life, your decisions and choices.
Others love to judge, and why should you care if they do? Only you
define yourself, so let them be amused if it makes them happy. When you
care too much about that others will say, you live your life for them
and not yourself.
2. Past mistakes
We all make mistakes and mess up in life. That’s just how life goes.
Don’t be hard on yourself, though. Accept that everyone gets it wrong
sometimes; it’s part of the human condition. You really are allowed to
cut yourself some slack. Learn to forgive yourself more often.
3. Failure
The big “F” word that everyone fears. It doesn’t have to be a scary
concept, though. Ultimately, it depends on your attitude to failure. If
you see failure as not being perfect, you’re going to be permanently
miserable. A more realistic idea of failure is giving up. If you haven’t
given up, you haven’t failed. See failure as a learning curve, a trial
and error process. See failure as your friend – it’s no big deal unless
you allow it to be.
4. What you don’t have
The human default position tends to err on the side of lack rather than
abundance, which is not conducive to feeling carefree. We focus on what
we don’t have and end up feeling thoroughly deprived. What’s the point
of that? I often tell my clients to focus on the positives of what they
have and the negatives of what they don’t have. Why would you want to
torture yourself with all the things you don’t have? That type of
thinking will not serve you in any productive way at all. Make a list of
all the things in your life that you appreciate. There will always be
others with more and others with less. What you have is enough.
5. “What Ifs”
We can drive ourselves crazy worrying about what might happen in the
future. No one can predict the future (psychics might dispute this), and
there is no point in torturing yourself unnecessarily about things that
may never come to pass. Remind yourself that this type of worry is
wasted energy and distract yourself. Face worry head on – if you can do
something in the present moment, go for it. If not, distract yourself
and ‘shelve’ the worries.
6. “I’ll be happy when…” thoughts
When we believe that we will be happy once something has happened, we
effectively put our life on hold until the event happens. Wishing your
current life is away is a precious waste of happy moments in life. Be in
the moment more and care less about being happy in the future. Decide
to be happy now. Happiness is not a destination, it is a manner of
traveling.
7. Regrets
Regret is a part of life. The past cannot be undone, so it pays to look
at what you have done in life philosophically. Did you learn something
from it? If you learned never to do it again or to try a different
approach, then you’ve ended up with a positive result. Accept what has
gone before, make allowances for human error and move on.
8. Rejection
Many of us are so afraid of rejection that we stay in our comfort zones
and never risk true intimacy. Wear your heart on your sleeve and risk
being vulnerable. The more you hide out of fear, the greater the fear
will grow. Show yourself that you can express your feelings and live
with the consequences. You will conquer fear of rejection in this way
and feel more carefree. Even if the outcome is not as expected, you will
soon realize that it wasn’t as bad as you anticipated and that you can
deal with it. Be a little more thick skinned, be brave and see life as
an adventure.
9. Society’s expectations
Be thin, be beautiful. Show off your wealth and status and then you’ll
be adored. What nonsense. When you like and accept yourself as you are,
you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. Don’t buy into the constant
media images of perfection. Most of the images are airbrushed and lead
us to believe that we should all look as perfect. Try not to take it to
heart. We all like to see perfect images, but don’t lose sight of the
fact that most of it is digitally enhanced and not natural. Love
yourself, imperfections and all. Self acceptance is true freedom.
10. Being good enough
It’s easy to feel that we don’t measure up somehow. We live in a
competitive world. It’s okay and even healthy to want to improve and
grow as a person. It becomes unhealthy, though, when we internalize
negative ideas about how we aren’t good enough. Always challenge this
type of thinking. What is “good enough”? Where is the international rule
book that clarifies what “good enough” is? As long as you feel happy
with who you are, where you are and how far you have come, that is all
that matters.
We all worry unnecessarily and create inner misery for ourselves.
Remember the above ten points, as they are definitely items you can
immediately remove from your worry list. Hopefully you’ll feel a little
lighter and a little more carefree too!
P/S: Insya Allah I'll try to put some own words and experience on every single point discussed above. Yes, it did happened to me. Sometimes we keep on thinking what people think about us rather than move forward and be better. Sigh~
Regards,
Dhiya
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